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Face Your Fears

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This Sunday May 1st I will be hosting TMI Hollywood ( Think SNL meets TMZ ) at Acme NOHO at 8pm. tickets available at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/2534557

 

This is a really special night for me because I am facing my fears. I know that given my resume it might seem that I wouldn’t be nervous about being on stage, but I am and here is why.

 

I was a horrifically shy adolecent. I had a lot of problems at home and it really effected how I interacted with other humans (still does). I was soooooo shy that I could not handle the idea of sitting through roll call. The very thought of it being my turn to announce I was “here” sent fear through my heart. The anxiety of the attention coming around to ME started a wave of panic so great I couldn’t breath. I cried, got hives, almost peed my pants… the whole nine yards.

 

I went to summer school EVERY summer and almost flunked high school, simply because I couldn’t handle speaking in front of people and having them stare at me and possibly judge me. I would wait until after roll call to go into class. EVERY CLASS, every class for FOUR YEARS and just take the tardy or just go hide in the library because I just couldn’t pull it together. If I had to read out loud or even worse the dreaded oral report in front of the class? #forgetaboutit !!!!!! No WAYYYYY!!! I would get out of it somehow.

 

Why was this so hard? Who knows?! My childhood was rough…but so was everyone’s. I had issues that made school hard but back then they didn’t give kids pills for everything they just gave you a smack and labeled you a weird kid. I was a weird, scared shitless kid that only talked under my breath. It’s kinda like I didn’t really exist back then because of fear.

 

I guess it’s not that odd that my need for approval would lead me to where I am now. I must say I’m not mad at my life. I have done so many amazing things. Things that my inner child is just jumping up and down and doing fist pumps.

 

The reason this show is different from all the things I’ve done….is simply the lack of a camera. I am performing with out the barrier of a camera between me and my audience. The camera and all the crew are my security blanket. They aways make me feel safe. On Sunday, I will not have my security blanket. I will once again be in front of the class with everyone staring at me, this is huge for me. No matter what happens, I am going to be okay. No matter what happens, I am going to have time of my life.

 

I hope you all can come out and support me on Sunday and god willing I can make you laugh! TMI Hollywood is L.A.’s longest running live sketch comedy show and I”m so excited to be part of it.

 

I am brave.

 

I am NOT a quitter.

 

I am weird… but so are you, or you wouldn’t be reading this with that stupid look on your face 🙂

 

6 Responses to Face Your Fears

  1. Rob Johnston says:

    Inspiring.

    • Rachel says:

      Thanks you guys! I really appreciate the love. I’m hoping that I get more chances embrace things that scare the shit out of me lol!!!! They are giving me the links soon I will post them here as soon as i get them

    • Rachel says:

      thank 🙂 It was scary but I liked it, looking forward to performing with them again!!

  2. Fyrch says:

    Excellent piece!. I knew (vaguely) about your early home life but never would have imagined you were shy.

    I always believed your charisma / ability to handle a crowd was the second of your three main character strengths.

    Regarding ‘why so serious’ (& insta DM) – this piece is why. I don’t like saying things that are critical of you, since I speculate that you’re a bit like me & pay more attention to negative feedback than positive.

    You’re really blessed (no double entendre) & can achieve a lot when you apply yourself. Take care.

    • Rachel says:

      Thank you 🙂 I’ve been trained to hide my short comings so people can’t use them against me. I don’t feel that stratagy isn’t needed anymore, I’m in a good place so I decided to share. It was nice to let it go.

      • Fyrch says:

        Authentic & genuine remains attractive & “sexy” – while plastic or insincere is generally a turn-off.

        It’s how JLaw was propelled to stardom, even though she’s shed it since (to her loss) plus why so many find the Kardashians & Ariana Grande repulsive.

        One of your superpowers is stopping time when you laugh. More, please.

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